Contemplative

I am knitting my first ever hat
with the help of esteemed knitter and recent blogger Rachel Hurley
I have learned the purl stitch
Its calming and time consuming

I wrote something thats pretty symbolic and abstract today:
"I always feel like Ive walked face first into an invisible spider web. I struggle & struggle and once Ive untangled myself from the gossamer fibers, it haunts me. I still feel it strangling me, or I think I do. And with that weighing on me, and my eyes on the floor I can't avoid the next web I'm about to walk straight into."

The fish flap in this lake
you'll hear it and look over and not see anything
I'm so ready for Australia and not at all ready for school
guess which comes first
I really hope this this ability to make friends kicks in soon
cause I don't know what to do at lunch by myself
maybe I'll eat early and go knit somewhere
"thatta girl Taylor, way to make 'em come a runnin"
weird knitter girl I can see that

Hahah it was fantastically awkward today at The Hurley residence
in the house alone with Matt, minimal conversation was key
we kind of mumbled
and we both talk to ourselves which was interesting
but I managed to over lap my voice on the podcast thing
(which I inadvertently called a pod-cat)
but I was unsatisfied so I deleted it
then recorded my song
same thing
then The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson
tooled around with it
liked my voice when its the pitch of a chipmunk
and saved and then left
very productive (or not)

I would really like to have gone on a walk at Wilder Ranch today
the weather was ideal for a hike or something
but church was fun and overwhelming with a whirlwind of hugs and
phone numbers and hello's and goodbye's
trying to make time for everyone
and reassure them we'd hang sometime before they had to leave
there was ice cream though
simple, reassuring
a breath of fresh air

There's alot of pressure riding on me this year from my parents
they're all "time to go college shopping!"
and "be responsible!"
I would really like to learn to drive and not worry so much about the future
which is difficult when your a hundred miles away from your friends
and planning is ultimately neccessary
hmmmm
can't wait for real fall weather, and how pretty Delta Colleges campus is going to be
all those leaves.
there are some nice parks around here, and ice skating!
This place itself isn't so terrible its mostly the loneliness
I have nothing against being alone, I enjoy it when its optional in fact
at least I have lots of time for one person activities now

your education bound friend
Taylor