as I was browsing in Art...

I happened across this gem.
it reminds me of Eric SD :)

16 years and counting

UGH I feel like lately all the blogs I write are
sad, which is dumb. Its like a constant pity party.
so today was my 16th birthday and concurrently one
of the worst days Ive ever experienced.
I woke up late and sick this morning
became super stressed since mom was going insane
about getting us out the door to school.
so I went to school with wet eyes, no sweatshirt,
and suede shoes in the rain.
at least my shoes held up.
By the end of tutorial I was drenched, even more
sick, and dragging around droopy balloons
that my grandma sent.
lunch was better, since I was around happy people.
I'm a total extrovert and get all my energy from other
people I found out.
But then I come home. If you know my parents
and the situation last year you know that
my freshman year didn't go so smoothly.
however since Stockton and not having a life Ive been
a really good girl and barely been able to hang
out with my friends.
I'm supposed to spend the night at my friends
tomorrow night and since I didn't get to school
on time now I can't go. fantastic.
I know this all sounds very "woe is me" and I'm aware
its not the end of the world but this birthday is the
worst. I haven't had a good birthday since I was ten.
and I guess I'm just fed up with it

Rand

I was in an awful mood the other day and then I went
to school probably the most tired Ive ever been.
I didn't not fall asleep in class until 5th period.
but today was much better, I still dread math class unfortunately.
love my teacher and her aid but I struggle with math so much.
Rosa Lee, her teachers aid from talked to me about it,
I decided I like her. She's this sweet little timid asian girl
who's majoring in math at UCSC and planning on being a teacher.
I think the class takes her for granted, they don't respect her.

anyways, what I wanted to say was the night I got back from
snow camp, when I wrote the previous blog entry
I don't know what was going on but I just needed to be back at
camp. So I journaled about it, which Ive found is really the best
way for me to talk to God. I feel like I'm such a talker all the time
and when I talk to Him I always find myself distracted because
I'm so awkward when I talk to Him out loud.
So writing him letters just feels perfect.

Swim team starts tomorrow and I'm really nervous/excited
I have to miss the second rehearsal which is no good
but I got three new swim suits! and goggles and a cap!
which will last me several seasons

MY BIRTHDAY ON FRIIIDDDDAAAAYYYYY!
I dont even know what to do. My family and I are too poor
for me to go to San Francisco for the day like I want to
but I might be able to do that in the spring.
haha I dont even have my permit yet and I'm turning 16
awesome.

well I'm supposed to be doing homework but that was everything
that was running through my head and just needed to record somewhere

I guess my point is, things are looking up :)

don't get me wrong:
this weekend was so necessary and one of my
favorites ever, but I'm not ready to be back.
its stupid, I'm actually crying.
but then again I might be starting my period
this week so it might just be hormones.
I can never trust my emotions.
but right now I'm just really stressed out.
swimming starts on wednesday, I have rehearsel
at least twice this week and even though the
"camp high" definitely hasn't worn off and I
really feel like I can carry through this time
I'm bawling right now because I miss camp,
just the atmosphere already.
ugh and were about to eat dinner and all I want
to do is sleep or cry or both.
sorry I'm pity partying all over the place, but
I'm in a really sad mood.
I don't know what to do with myself so I guess I'll
just have to journal or something in a little bit.
maybe play some music or knit. that always calms me down
yours,

quotes

" there is a possible baby bear sighting.."

"Dear Parents;"

I know there are so many more but my short term memory is awful
please comment and remind me!

SNOW CAMP

greetings from home again;

I’m back from snow camp, which was a fantastic time.

the highlights were definitely:

• Jeff Neckers
• Jeff Neckers
• Jeff Neckers

not really. But it was definitely a perk ;)

I AM A SKIING LEGEND

maybe thats an exxageration, but I’m very near there :)

I didn’t fall once and it was so enjoyable which is never the case.

this is me.

I cant wait til I go skiing again, which hopefully will be soon.

I will hop to getting a less small talkie blog on here during this week

but I'm about to get really busy so...we'll see.